Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Wal-Martization of Chinese fast food?

This may be from the drug-induced nightmare of a bored wire service employee, or perhaps December 26 is South Africa's April Fool's day, but the African News Dimension (whozat?) is reporting that the 3400 Wal-Marts in the US will start offering Chinese fast food (no, Chinese "Dining"). In the article, Yeshua Yosef writes:

Wal-Mart to add Chinese Dining to its 3400 stores nationwide.

The biggest retailer in America is ending the fast food reign of McD’s and even its submarine vendors; in favor of a new Chinese Restaurant Chain. This food chain will serve Chinese food fast, but not of the McD’s Quality. We will serve food fast, but not fast food, is the claim of the Wal-Mart source who disclosed the story. Wal-Mart has reportedly been looking for an alternative to just subs and burgers; because of the anti-fast food sentiment created by the movie “Super Size Me,” which showed the hazards of eating just fast food. According to the source, “We are already 90% Chinese, so we might as well go all the way, to 110%”, some say, this move may change the face of America, and it’s pant size. Wal-Mart supposedly will save money by shipping smaller sizes to America, as there are claims the 60 % profit they make by buying Chinese is cut into by shipping costs. In this case, smaller waists equal larger profits for the company, at least in shipping costs. Once again the giant retailer is putting America first in its quest to be the best. During the after-Katrina mess, Wal-Mart put America first by halting gun sales in its Louisiana stores, some 40 of them at least. Some say the anger toward government scared many, and so Wal-Mart put its halt in, to help quell the anti-government sentiment. With American families owing somewhere in the neighborhood of $140,000 per family in debts including those to foreign countries, including Japan, Germany and China, these moves by the chain will help, we hope. Now Americans will learn to cook Chinese, at least those employed by Wal-Mart. As one official put it, “We borrow money from the Chinese, so we can buy their products.” India is said to be talking to Target about a similar Chain. Vindaloo and Nan Bread anyone? Unfortunately, the submarine vendor is left scratching it’s head. Our subs are not fast food, but good food fast too, they claim. No doubt, at least one of their patrons has backed that claim up. Maybe they can merge with the Chinese Chain, and create a new sub, maybe the Beijing Cheese Steak, …..it’s a wrap.

I'm highly skeptical about this eventuality, but if true, I can guarantee that if Wal-Mart has its way with Chinese cuisine, the resulting product will be one of the few things sold by Wal-Mart that wasn't made in China.

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